As a child I witnessed domestic violence, and I can’t remember how many times we heard yelling, mum crying, my sisters, mum and I running to our neighbour’s house and banging on her door in the middle of the night. I can’t count how many times the police came to our house, got us to pack our small bags and put us in safe havens.
Our longest stint was 3 months, and I had to change schools, make new friends in a very white school (I was the only Vietnamese girl. This story is for another time.) and learn how to comfort my mother. In the end she kept coming home to him because it was the “best thing to do.” These memories are coming back to me as I write this. You don’t want to remember them but they are imprinted.
This morning I woke up to the wonderful world of social media, and saw #MyOvariesMadeMe and Steve Price’s critique of Van Badham’s discussion on #QandA as “hysterical.”
Why am I infuriated?
Because I have heard this term and similar terms used on women and myself. I’ve watched the video three times this morning, and I thought why would Steve Price say, “hysterical.”
Steve Price, your assessment of a human being, Van Badham, who was speaking openly hearted in response to a man sharing his sister’s tragic story, the culture of domestic violence and the value society categories women.
Steve Price leans in, “I just think you’re being hysterical.”
Van Badham, “It is probably my ovaries making me do it Steve.”
When will the majority of men, not all men, but most men, learn that comments of drowning a woman underwater is NOT okay. and then to laugh about it, as if it is a school yard joke makes it OKAY? It is NOT OKAY. Read more
I used to love watching The Footy Show, and having a woman, Rebecca Maddern on the panel is great, but seeing her sit next to a man, Sam Newman, who continues to spit out disgusting, narrow minded and misogynistic views on women appalls me. If I was on that panel I would’ve stood up and left. I switch the channels when he talks. Maybe I shouldn’t watch it at all.
I am proud to be a woman. We have ovaries. I wouldn’t change it. As a woman we have to fight our way through society, make our point and that, is worth living for. We fight for change, for ourselves and in the children we raise. Well, I don’t have children yet, but I know when I raise them eventually, I will educate that men and women are to be valued equally and not by they gender.
So when a woman is making a point, voicing her thoughts, do not put us down. When we ask for better pay, for equal representation on panel shows/conferences, when we have children and go to work again, when women walk home at night, and told we should be careful because of the men around us, when women are raped and are blamed because we asked for it….NO WE DIDNT.
When my mum with her three young daughters (all under the age of 10), decided to leave my dad, she did it for her own sanity and freedom, but importantly for the future of her daughters. She left because the relationship was unhealthy and she did not want this behaviour to be acceptable for her children to witness. For the future of women and men, this behaviour is not acceptable. You and I need to change. We need to change together.
Thank you Van Badham for standing up and being heard. That stare down was epic. That power gives me hope. Thank you.